BB’s Tale Of A Hero
October 2017 I felt an approximately 3 centimeter large lump in my left breast.
It felt pretty solid and I knew immediately it couldn’t be good.
A few years earlier I lost my husband to ALS, back then I used to say that ALS is cruel but also ‘fair’.
There’s no doubt how it will end, in contrast to cancer where so many people fight the fight and still die.
Is it karma that I got that lump ?
For a couple of weeks I didn’t tell anyone. I wanted to think ‘it’ over.
How could I tell my daughters that again they would have to deal with an ill parent,
how could I tell the worries, uncertainty and the caregiving role was back in our lives.
And I had to make peace with the battle. Or not fight.
My very first thought after feeling the lump was ‘are you going to help me die’ …
In November I decided I would go for treatment.
One of my daughters accompanied me to see my family doctor, he was honest and open
and told me he was going to send me to see an oncologist that same week.
For mammograms, and probably a few punctures. I would hear the same day what the results were.
A local hospital appeared to have the best mammacare-ward with and experienced team.
On Friday I went in at 8.30 am, and mammograms were taken.
The radiologist took the punctures to find out what kind of tumor it was and that would define treatment.
At 3 pm I was seen by an oncologist/surgeon and she was brutally honest: stage 3 tumor and calcium spots all through my breast already clustering.
Her verdict: mastectomy because of the calcium spots. She also assured me that she was going for full recovery.
I had to wait two weeks to hear the puncture-results, a nerve-wrecking time.
Finally I got the (good) news that the tumor was hormone-related and that meant NO CHEMO and NO RADIATION,
‘just’ 7 years of anti-estrogen therapy.
I had my operation in December, all went well. One night in hospital and home-care after that.
Pain was manageable, with painkillers. Just a little edema, by pressure even that was manageable.
Before I went home one of the nurses helped me watching the wound, it wasn’t pretty but I was so glad that I didn’t have to see it on my own … Everyday I watched it, took care of it and got used to the ‘new me’.
Now, in 2020, I feel good.
I have my right breast checked every year (also calcium spots but not changing so far).
I take my pills (causing a second menopause and 10x worse), I see a physiotherapist every other week.
She is an experienced scar tissue masseuse and it keeps the scar flexible.
I don’t find it difficult to watch my body except in a mirror – in the mirror it feels as if
I’m looking at another person and I feel so much compassion for her.
And I hate to wear my prosthesis. It’s beautiful, it fits like a glove. But it’s fake …
Only when I go out, or expect visitors I ‘dress up with Betty Boob’.
A friend told me about this ‘ACS survivor group’ in SL and I went to survivor meetings.
What I really liked about it is that it is anonymous, I felt free to talk about ANY subject.
Now, so many years later I’m more involved. I joined a Relay team, I build for Survivor Region, for ACS,
made last years Survivor Displays (that’s where my heart lies !)
And I met 3 wonderful ladies, they are my every day support-team:
❤Sandie – always there, always believing in me
❤Mar – many wise words, especially during sleepless nights
❤Savannah – her cupcakes are so soothing
This is my story.
Do I still think cancer is ‘unfair’ because people fight and die sometimes ?
No I don’t. Many times people fight and win (or win time). It’s worth the battle !
BB Woodford.